For over 12 years, Onnie has wanted to get on the TEDx stage. After watching her first TEDx Talk, she saw that red dot, the circular carpet on which speakers stand, and thought, “I’ll be there someday.”
It was one of those dreams she kept quietly tucked away, but she kept subtly working toward it. It wasn’t just a goal on her checklist; it’s an opportunity and a tipping point. The catalyst to traveling, speaking on bigger stages, and ultimately writing a best-selling book that helps others know that Supermom Syndrome isn’t just causing discomfort. It’s hurting us far more than we realize.
Learning that Help isn’t a Threat
In 2010, Onnie was looking into Zumba classes. These fitness courses that combine dance and movement create not only an intense workout, but a fun environment for all of those involved. Onnie craved something for herself, but felt this overwhelming sense of guilt pour over her.
As a mother of six children, she wasn’t allowed to do something so selfish… was she? Even an hour to herself meant she was neglecting the endless obligations as a mom.
It wasn’t long after that when her in-laws offered to watch the kids while she took a much-needed weekend break. While some might feel relief, a weekend away without paying a sitter and knowing the kids were in good hands? Yes please! Instead, Onnie felt an overwhelming sense of being threatened. As though she wasn’t good enough, and failing at being a good mom.
Now, as she looks back, she sees that her identity was wrapped up in this fantastical notion of being a supermom, someone who had to do it all.
Why Supermom Syndrome is a Lie
Trying to be a supermom isn’t just burning out the mom who is bent on doing it all. It’s having a ripple effect and hurting families, communities, and (of course) the mom who desperately needs a break.
Society has told us that mothers have to do it all. And moms across the country have bought into the lie that they are the be-all and should never slow down. All of that hustle is burning moms out and really hindering them from being the women they were created to be.
Women were made for so much more than trying to live up to this impossible standard.
Onnie’s TEDxBillings Talk on September 26th
When Onnie walks off the stage on September 26th, she hopes you feel seen and understood. Her intent is that you realize being a “good mom” or a “good person” has nothing to do with running yourself into the ground.
You have permission to slow down.
You should challenge the expectations handed to you.
You will take back ownership of your own happiness, feeling empowered to poke holes in the myths that you have been living, and create a life that actually feels good to live.
As you focus that energy inward, on who you really are and love to be, it’s going to ripple outward. Just as burnout affects your family, the goodness you create will also have a lasting impact on them. As you flourish, so will the people you love.
Do you have your ticket yet? Get yours here.
Get to Know the Woman Behind the Talk
A licensed therapist and mother to six kids, Onnie knows firsthand what burnout is like. She has experienced it, and she sees it with her patients. It’s so prevalent that she created a podcast, “Moms Without Capes,” as a way to give back and help more people as they struggle through the idea that what society thinks they should do doesn’t jive with what they know they deserve.
An advocate for mental health, she’s joined forces with Upstream Strategy Partners to make mental health care more accessible in the workplace. She also founded the Yellowstone County Mental Health Alliance.
Despite the stress and tiring duties of being a mom (even if you’re not in the supermom trap, parenting can be exhausting!), she credits her kids as having the biggest impact on her life.
She tells us, “Hands down, they’ve shaped me in ways I never could’ve imagined, teaching me resilience, patience, and what it really means to love unconditionally.”
You can learn more about Onnie, her podcast, and her views in her interview with Danielle Dahl, host of Resilient Stories.
